


Nobody, not even the fucking rain

by Pollarize



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 03:28:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7083322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pollarize/pseuds/Pollarize
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I hope you'll hear me in the streetlight's humming, softly breathing out your name. <br/>I swear that even with the distance, slowly wearing out your name."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nobody, not even the fucking rain

**Author's Note:**

> Based pretty loosely off the song "Nobody, Not Even the Rain" by La Dispute. 
> 
> Idea also came from a video that I saw on instagram from @pinkhairedtyler
> 
> This is for Kim and for me to vent lowkey

It was three am and Tyler was still awake. He felt the tightness in his chest from his and Josh’s fight. Their (relationship?) was going through a rough patch (wow, what an understatement). Either way, Josh was unhappy and pissed off and Tyler was the one to blame. The last text Tyler had gotten said something along the lines of ‘I need space,’ or ‘I need you to leave me alone now,’ or a combination of both. Tyler hadn’t been able to read through teary eyes.

 

That had been hours ago and his phone had been thrown against a wall, the screen shattering in the process. He wasn’t sure if it would turn back on but at the same time he didn’t seem to care. There wasn’t a point if Josh wouldn’t talk to him, that's all it was used for anyway.

 

So it was three am and Tyler was still awake. He pulled himself out of bed, bypassing his closet and a jacket and heading straight for the door, heading outside. He made a quick pitstop at the gas station, dropping five bucks to fuel a habit he hadn’t quite yet started.

 

The pack of cigarettes sat heavy in his hand and he stared at them. He knew that it was a stupid decision. He was already struggling over trying to get oxygen into his lungs, surely smoke wouldn’t be helpful.

 

Not helpful, not helpful, not helpful, he thought as he pulled a cigarette out and laid it between his lips, holding the lighter in front of it for a moment. He hadn’t lit it, just watching the way the flame danced close to the end of the cigarette, the wind threatening to blow it out. Tyler sucked in a slow breath and brought the flame to his cigarette, watching as the paper curled and smoke wafted up into the air. 

 

This wasn’t the first time he’d smoked, but it sure as hell hadn’t gotten easier for him. The smoke assaulted his lungs and he wanted to cough it out and never taste it again but there was a sick tension that it released. A couple more puffs later and he felt dizzy and sick to his stomach but it was better than the anxious pain.

 

Tyler walked in a random direction, not paying attention as he kept his eyes on the cigarette, bringing it up to his lips, letting the smoke suffocate him until he exhaled. It tasted awful but that’s what he liked about it, right? The poison that slowly killed him from the inside out, the way that he knew everyone around him would be disappointed. He knew that Josh would be disappointed. A subtle fuck you to the boy who didn’t even want to see him.

 

That fuck you turned itself on Tyler. His feet stopped, unconsciously ending up outside of Josh’s house. He wanted to run up to the door and bang his fists against it. He could almost picture his tear stained face greeting Josh’s. He could almost picture how he’d rush forward and wrap his arms around Josh, burying his face into Josh’s chest, knees weak to the point where he couldn’t hardly stand.

 

It never happened though. 

 

Tyler stood there, frowning as the cigarette grew too close to his fingers and he dropped it, toeing it into the pavement. He looked back up at Josh’s house and turned away from it, forcing himself to walk away, far, far away.

 

Once he was far enough away, he gave up. He screamed, letting out the pent up anger and sadness until he felt calmer. Not completely, no.

 

“Fuck you, Josh,” he yelled, a tear slipping down his cheek. It was almost therapeutic to yell Josh’s name, to insult him. 

 

“No good piece of shit. Always putting me second best. Telling me how special I am only to turn around and flirt with some chick. Not fucking caring when I watched her push in between us and you fucking looked to her. I was still talking, Josh,” Tyler ranted, closing eyes. He hoped with everything in him that somehow Josh heard, that he could understand the way Tyler’s heart seemed to rip itself up, how anger washed over his body. He wanted to go back and tell it all to Josh’s face but he didn’t, couldn’t. He would only fall back into Josh’s arms if he saw him.

 

So he kept walking and his rant turned into a nonsense babble of Josh, Josh, Josh.

 

And with each step Josh faded from the forefront of Tyler’s mind. He became an overused name that would bring a bad taste to Tyler’s mouth if he heard it. Tyler no longer liked the color red or curly hair. He no longer liked so many things but he was forgetting.

 

“Josh, Josh, Josh,” and then he stopped. 

 

Tyler pulled out another cigarette and lit it because it didn’t matter anymore. He wanted to taste like ash and chemicals. 

 

He wanted that because Josh hated it and Tyler hated Josh.

  
Josh? He couldn’t remember who Josh was.


End file.
